Hey, it’s Mary Knox - we did it! Seven episodes with eight remarkable leaders. 

I started Speaking Human-First to answer a simple question: 

There’s plenty of books and blogs and how-to videos about leadership, content marketing, and building personal brands. There’s also tons of information about market research and how to study your audience. 

But if it was as simple as that - two sides of an equation - we’d all be world-renowned leaders by now. 

The most important part is missing: connection.

To change how people think it’s not only about you and your audience. To get the result you want - to create deep and lasting impact - you have to forge an unbreakable bond between the two.

We’re not after followers. We want to inspire action. 

We’re not selling products. We’re selling ideas; ideas we’ve crafted over decades through study and lived experience.

This begs the question, ‘How can I effectively show up and communicate to my audience in a way that spur connections and builds trust in this data-driven, AI-exploding world?’

According to this season’s guests, it depends. It depends on you. It depends on your message and it depends on your audience.

Clear as mud, right? 

Well, listening to a wide range of leaders share their battle scars is a helpful way to test the waters.

This season we heard from eight leaders each making an impact in their own unique ways. And while on the surface their strategies appear different, they’re all grounded in common themes.

I want to explore these themes through the filter of three principles I use when working with clients:

I’ll explain each of these in a minute, but there’s more.

I also ask clients to dig deep and answer this question: ‘Why can't we see each other as equals?’ 

Because to build trust with your audience, you have to tap into something far greater than your knowledge and expertise. You have to connect as human beings. 

Which means we have to show up real - and real is going to look different for every single person.

There’s lots to unpack, so I’m breaking this episode into four chapters. 

Let’s get to it!

Chapter 1: There’s not a one-size-fits-all approach to thought leadership

This season, our guests kept circling around common themes.

For starters, we need to talk about a lot more than tools and tactics. More than crafting crystal clear ideas. More than choosing between writing or video or podcasting - or whatever technology or social platform comes next.

Turns out, to change the world with your ideas, you not only need people to listen - you need to inspire them to think differently. 

And that requires a deep connection; a foundation of trust alongside a vision for the future. 

Simple, right?

Perhaps simple, but definitely not easy because there are two sides to this always-evolving equation. There’s you, and then there’s the person on the receiving end of your message. 

Let’s start with you. 

Every communicator’s personality, skillset, and comfort zones are different. What works for an extrovert likely won’t work for an introvert. What helps a podcaster or TikToker might not keep a community organizer front of mind.

So when the next ‘it’ marketing strategy comes along, think twice whether or not it’s a match for how you best move and breathe in the world.

Meanwhile, your audience is filled with humans. Humans who are messy and constantly changing. What resonates with us today won’t necessarily work tomorrow. 

Which means… wait for it…  

Believe me, I wish I could give you a magic formula or five-step process that would guarantee your idea to spread like wildfire. 

But I can’t because it doesn’t exist.

But what I can tell you, and what this season’s guests have confirmed, is that a few guiding principles go a long way to helping your ideas scale deep.

Chapter 2: Where my three guiding principles come from

These principles first surfaced while working at National Geographic Adventure Magazine and were later reinforced when I criss-crossed the globe as an international photojournalist for a Boston-based newspaper. 

When I flew into a political frenzy or a humanitarian disaster, I had to quickly establish trust by watching, waiting, listening and learning. 

I watched people’s body language to see everything not being said. 

I waited patiently for the moment people revealed who they really were. 

I listened without judgment and with humility.

And I learned that discomfort and unanswered questions are rich grounds for connection.

In the last ten years, these principles crystalized while partnering with world-renowned educators and researchers, authors and keynote speakers. Together we’ve created content millions would see but approached every idea as a connection between two human beings.

We leaned into mediums that heightened their strengths and appealed to their unique audience. 

We translated complex topics into simple concepts so everyone could understand. 

We crafted nuanced interview questions, pulling from prior research and present-day attitudes. 

We wrote powerful narratives into scripts and web copy. 

And we created visual branding designs that reflected the difference they wanted to make in the world. 

In other words, we pushed way past sharing information to create an experience. 

And now, I’m taking everything I’ve learned, plus a relentless work ethic, and I’m dreaming big. 

Leaders who inspire us with their courage and humility. Who tell it like it is and care deeply for the dignity of those they serve. Who stand strong in their expertise, yet remind us there’s still so much we don’t know. Who listen more than they speak and let their North Star - not their ego - drive. 

To get there, we need impact-driven leaders to step into their story and up to the mic. We need your values front and center and for you to practice what you publish. To connect with us as real human beings so we realize how easy it is to make a difference.

But we - the audience - also have work to do. We need to develop a discerning ear and nuanced tongue. We need to listen with empathy and not rush to judgment. We need to walk in humility, realizing it’s ok for our opinions to change as we learn more information.

In other words… 

You who are already on the frontlines of change. You who’ve built a wealth of knowledge and been exposed to a wide range of life experiences. You who’ve learned the art of listening.

Chapter 3: What you say, how you say it, and who you are matters

Let’s break these down one at a time. 

To change the world with your ideas, you need to change how people think - not simply tell them what to do. Which means you need to earn their trust. 

How do you earn trust? You consistently speak to your expertise and lived experience and defer to others when they can go even deeper. And you listen - a lot. In fact, you listen more than you speak.

You also realize your perspective influences how you speak on a topic, and that your audience is likely coming from a different starting line.

For example, if you’re Robert Livingston, episode 1, you merge lived experience as a Black man with twenty years of research on the science behind bias and racism while keeping in mind that:

I love this quote.

Experts think they need to present as the smartest in the room and unwavering in their opinions. Yet, you could have the greatest idea in the world with jaw-dropping evidence. But if people don’t understand what you’re saying, they won’t listen. They won’t take action. 

Clear, concise messaging is a must. 

As Laura Zapata says in episode five: 

But this isn’t just about delivering words.

Which brings us to the second guiding principle: 

Words need emotion. To inspire you need to speak from what I call, ‘the fire in your belly.’

As Abby Falik says in episode two: 

Next, translate that fire into a message that resonates with your audience. 

Writer and podcaster Tara McMullin says in episode 3: 

Ok, so we’re listening to what’s stirring inside. Then, we’re translating our thoughts into words everyone can understand, filtering through the lens of our audience’s point of view. 

Next is delivery. We need to consider both the medium and the underlying tone with which we speak. 

Let’s start with tone.

People can smell fake a mile away. When you step up to the mic and into your story, you need to stay honest and grounded in humility.

As Maurice Mitchell said in episode seven: 

And because you can't know everything, sometimes you’re not the one who should be talking.

Beth Livingston in episode six calls this staying in your lane: 

Staying in your lane. Humility. 

Now, let’s move onto communication tools - or as I like to call it, methods to show that you practice what you preach.  

There are a lot of choices when it comes to communicating ideas. And you often feel like you have to do it all. 

You don’t. In fact, you shouldn’t. 

Try different mediums and see what works. Lean into your strengths and pay attention to what gives you energy, what flexes your muscles and scratches an itch. 

If you’re outgoing and want to quickly forge intimate connections, video-first platforms like TikTok or YouTube are go-to’s. Video works for Britt Belwine. In episode 4, she talks about how 80,000 followers watch and engage with her weekly TikToks. She shares a lot of personal stories and a lot of disabled experiences, and she uses both to teach. But it's important to note that it's not the disability doing the teaching, she is.

But not all of us like being on camera. And that’s ok!

If that’s the case, consider writing and using literary techniques like metaphor to translate complex ideas into simple concepts. Back in episode one, Dr. Livingston describes antiracism as salmon swimming upstream. Immediately, we see the image in our mind's eye, and it stays long after. 

If video and writing in metaphor don’t get the juices flowing, feel free to keep it simple. In episode two, Abby Falik talks about posting short form text paired with photos on social media. 

Never underestimate the power of pulling back the curtain, but if - and only if - you’re comfortable with it.

Everybody's comfort zone is different.

All right, let's say you love to be in conversation. Podcasting, recording interviews, or crafting audio essays with sound effects, music, and historical clips can bring your content to life, as Tara McMullen talks about in episode three:

And of course, there's always the power of one to one conversation. Just ask Maurice Mitchell.

It also happens to be a really effective way to respectfully engage with people who don't agree with you. 

Changing the world requires moving beyond preaching to the choir. Not just once, but repeatedly.

This brings us to the third guideline: 

I’ll make this one short and sweet.

It’s not easy to step up, speak out, and challenge the status quo. In fact, it’s risky.

You’ve got to be strong, to have drive and determination and keep the fire in your belly burning.

You’ve got to be ready for resistance - naysayers, doubters, criticism - and then prepare for everyone beyond the walls of your mind.

What’s more… 

You have to be resolute in your ideas, yet leave the door open to other possibilities.

At the same time, we’re not superhuman. We need support systems - what Robert Livingston in episode one calls his, ‘school of fish.’

Tina Opie calls it her go-to person to keep you in check and read emails before you hit send. 

So yes, this is hard work.

But we need you.

You who sees the world for what it could be. 

You who is ready to dig deeper to reach higher heights. 

Step into the light as you, not who you think you need to be. Our flaws make us relatable and our resilience endears us. 

As Abby Falik said in episode two:

Step into the light - not to prove yourself to others - but because you can’t not speak, write, film, or think about it. 

Stay humble and endlessly curious. 

Speak confidently of your expertise, but realize wisdom is found in the ‘I don’t know’s.’

And when everyone shouts your praises, remember what Maurice Mitchell said in episode seven:

Keep your ego in the passenger’s seat and let your North Star drive.

Those are my guiding principles: What you say, how you say it, and who you are matters.

But that’s not the whole story. One more chapter to go.

Chapter 4: Invisible systems and structures at play 

“Why can’t we see each other as equals?” 

I’ve been asking this question since I was a child. Turns out, it’s a critical component to becoming a trusted leader.

Why? I’ll get to that in a moment.

But first, let’s take a step back.

Equity. Are we there yet? A lot of people think so. 

But Robert Livingston and Tina Opie say they spend most of their time establishing the problem of racism and convincing people that it still exists. As members of a historically marginalized community, they should not carry this burden. They should not have to draw the bright red through line over and over again from slavery, to Jim Crow laws, to mass incarceration, to voter suppression. That’s on us - all of us who’ve benefited from these systems at the expense of others.

Meanwhile, Britt Belwine documents her life today as a disabled person and reveals inequities to equal access ranging from day-to-day tasks to a traumatizing prison system. She wants to normalize disability and let disabled people speak for themselves. But we’ll only get there if everyone asks for the accommodations they need or stand next to someone who does as an ally. 

Laura Zapata takes this even further, saying the world's intractable problems won’t be solved until a wider range of perspectives are in the room.

Here’s the thing - when you understand that the human experience is shaped by social realities - many of which you haven’t experienced - empathy rises. 

What’s more, learning the invisible systems and structures at play gives us a greater chance at seeing each other as human beings, not checkboxes or dollar signs. 

Which brings us back to the question: 

Some guests said it’s because of fear - we fear what we don’t understand. And we don’t understand because we don’t know each other. And because we don't know each other, we don’t trust one another.

What’s more, systems like slavery and capitalism have long been embedded in our society. Their webs are so vast and so deep, we don’t even recognize them anymore.

And let's face it. We don’t like being uncomfortable. We want our long-held beliefs to remain true and unchallenged. 

All of this creates a situation where people view others who have different perspectives and values, even if they only differ by a little bit, as the enemy. And the easiest way to discredit the enemy is to deny them their humanity. 

But as Maurice Mitchell says:

We don’t have to play the “first pass the pole, winner take all’ game (Source: Maurice Miller). Just as our ancestors created systems, we can come up with new ones. We have the power to make real and lasting change.

Isn’t that exciting?!

And this brings us back to you - you who see the world for what it could be. 

You’re not building an audience to create an echo chamber. You’re trying to change the world, to craft a vision of the future that seems inevitable if we follow you.

But you can’t craft that vision without an acute understanding that the human experience is shaped by social realities and invisible systems. 

And while we can - and should - speak confidently about our own experiences, there will forever be so much we don’t know - that we can’t know without witnessing others’ stories.

In conclusion 

Whew! That’s enough from me. 

Now, it’s your turn.

Are there threads I should follow? Any gaping holes I need to fill? 

Perhaps more on the science of how our brains interpret information so we can better understand what communication methods to use, and when?

Or maybe there are voices you’d like to hear weigh in on the art and science of communicating world-changing ideas? Tell me who! I’m dreaming big, remember?

Until then, thanks for listening.